I got my first pair of pointe shoes today.
Now that I'm not in the store, I'm becoming more and more nervous, so I'm leaving them in their bag and box until Thursday's class when Jilissa can see them.
I may just be psyching myself out.
The lady who fitted me pointed out that I'm missing the second knuckle in my last three toes on my left foot.
I just laughed.
Of course, there's gonna be some sort of complication.
Hasn't that been the air of my entire ballet "career"?
The wreck
The arthritis
The physical therapy
The fevers
The sickness I'm still battling and don't understand.
The scheduling
Not to mention all the hurdles at the beginning:
Pigeon-toed
Taught incorrectly
Mixing front and reversed movements interchangeably
No knowledge of vocabulary
Overwhelming anxiety
Doubt and everything else mental that can come ones way.
What's a few short toes on one foot?
Then she told me something I hope I never forget.
"You know what all that tells me? That you're a fighter."
She continued on and pointed out how hard I've worked to get where I am, and with that tenacity, I'll always meet my goals, I can always succeed.
So, I'll hold to these words, as I build new callouses and learn new things. As I have pain I inevitably will have to work through. As things seem questionable, as I struggle. I will fight.
And the fight will be worth it.
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