progress

The greatest thing a teach can shout at you in class after, "Good" "Great" or "Yes"

is, "Better"

Yesterday I was smacked in the face with my fears

Thankfully, I didn't break down and freak out. Instead, my teacher helped me see what I was doing wrong and what to do to fix it to do the steps correctly. That's what scared me. Correctly felt like a pending rolled ankle. 

But it will only be that if I get scared. If I go for the step confidently, then I'll hit it. 

(I've also realized that my arches such in these shoes. No matter how hard I pointe in them, it doesn't look like it. So. Gotta work on that. Anyway)

We were working on various things across the floor, which I was super grateful for. This is where I know I need work and to build up my confidence for it. Part of the combination was to do a pique passe preparation, then to do a chasse to prepare for a pirouette from 4th.

Yes, I thought, This is exactly what I need! 

And what did I do first time around?

sucked it up. 

I undershot and ended up just on demi. I couldn't get all the way on to full releve. UGH.

So we did the left, lalala, whatever. I found myself flubbing up the combinations more than usual. This is probably due to my brain being fuzzy and my heart overwhelmed. Which I try to leave at home, but sometimes I can't ignore it enough.

We got to do the combination again. 

This time, I got the pirouette in. It was spotty, but I managed.

That's when Ms. Munro yelled out, "Better, Emilee!" in her adorable British accent.

Better.

I'm getting better.

And I know how to work on my feet and what to do. And I know what to work on and what to push towards.

And sometimes my feet look ugly in my shoes, and I'm trying to figure out if it's the shoes, my lack of arch, or my still-trying-to-build confidence that will fix it.

So. there's that.

I started class thinking, "why do I even try" and was able to leave feeling "this is why."

Here ya go. I don't post these often, because I pretend that I actually look like a ballerina and tend to prefer the allusion. But whatever. This is who I am and here it is.

Blisters popped, and I didn't even notice! This is a big deal for me! Go me! 

hah

And, another one, where my friend caught it as I was starting to fall out of it.

But, eh, whatevs.

I couldn't do that two months ago.

Yay wonder shoes!